Tacky Halloween blow-up cartoons greeted me at the door this week as I strolled into the Home Depot off Delaware Avenue. Some were on sale, but down below them were cardboard displays stuffed with oversized Christmas lights and holiday decorations.
Meanwhile, it was nearly 80 degrees. I wasn’t ready for this. So I quipped to an employee that it’s a little crazy that Christmas decorations are already being sold nearly two weeks before Halloween. Then, he led me back into Home Depot’s greenhouse space which has been transformed into a veritable winter wonderland stuffed with dozens of Santas and reindeer and artificial trees, including one for $550 that grows when you click a remote.
At Home Depot, it’s been this way for at least three weeks. And the home improvement store isn’t the only place you can already find Christmas merchandise. So we went around to some of Philadelphia’s big box stores on a hunt for Christmas gear, and found a number of places already selling the goods. Maybe you’re a Christmas freak who’s already getting ready.
Or maybe you want to use this guide to just avoid it until at least Thanksgiving and shame the stores that are taking part in this blasphemy.
Here’s what we found:
1. Home Depot
We’ll start here, what with the massive greenhouse space filled with Christmas gear, including the above multi-racial Santa statues. Go here if you’re already — for some reason — on the hunt for an artificial tree. They have a lot!
There’s also these light-up lawn ornaments if you’re tryna annoy your neighbors this early in the season.
2. Dollar Tree
You probably saw this one coming. The dollar store’s Halloween merchandise is pretty well picked through by now, and the shelves in the front of the stores at the seasonal section are filling with reindeer headbands and red and green bows and even wintery decorations like snowflakes.
3. Pier 1 Imports
If you’re trying to stay away from Christmas in October, then I highly recommend you avoid Pier 1 Imports at all costs. More than any other store we visited, Pier 1 imports has taken early Christmas to a new level. For the last two weeks, two-thirds of the store has been overtaken by Christmas trees and Christmas pillows and Christmas ornaments and Christmas blankets and… well you get the point.
You need these Christmas throw pillows. In October.
Also this sexy Santa apron.
4. A.C. Moore
This craft store has had Christmas gear out for weeks, and it’s to the point where it actually has holiday ornaments on sale. Go here if you’re looking for a wreath; they have like a dillion.
Do you a need a Christmas tin for $2 to save until you make Christmas cookies two months from now?
Lowes was actually worse (better?) than Home Depot and has a massive section in the front of its store decked out with Christmas merchandise.
That includes this not-at-all tacky lawn blow-up Yoda and equally not-tacky lawn Buddy the Elf.
CANDLES. MUGS. TINY ARTIFICIAL TREES. LITTLE GIFT BOXES. AH.
Really glad they have these tiny little Santas and snowmen you can put out at your Halloween party while it’s a balmy 70 degrees outside.
Have to give Target some props here: The Christmas stuff is quite literally hidden behind the Halloween stuff. Bravo, Target. Still, it’s there. Mostly tree stands.
Oh, and this extensive lighting display.
Your favorite store now officially has more rows of Christmas gear than it does Halloween merchandise. It has three aisles of trees, lights, ornaments and even gift wrap. (Who in the hell is wrapping their gifts at this point? I want to meet them.)
At least the lights are cheap.
It’s the most. Wonderful tiiiiiime. Of the year. Here’s one store that could probably get away with doing Christmas all year around. While Macy’s hasn’t yet decorated for its holiday spectacular, workers this week were stringing lights and putting out mannequins with Christmas attire on them, like this suit that you probably need:
And these Christmas footy pajamas.
And these Christmas boxer shorts.
Thx, Macy’s. You win Christmas… for now.