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Read the news of the day in less than 10 minutes — not that we’re counting.

A week’s worth of Philadelphia news can be difficult to remember. And it can be so devoid of flavor, of life, of … music! At Billy Penn, we’ll help you recall the stories worth knowing by making a nifty soundtrack you can jam to. Here are the songs that best represented Philadelphia this week (Spotify playlist at the bottom).

“Wild Horses,” The Rolling Stones

The PPA doesn’t like UberX. And when Uber decided to launch UberX on Saturday it led to a sting operation in which six cars were impounded. Even horses got involved. But the PPA might have to do better. Wild horses aren’t convincing Uber to stop using its UberX service here in Philadelphia, and the people of Philadelphia certainly don’t want it to go away.

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“Shut Up and Drive,” Rihanna

Uber may not have been exactly forthcoming with all of its drivers about the disputed legality of UberX in Philadelphia or the impoundments some drivers experienced on Saturday night (though a spokesperson disputed this). It was also revealed this week that some of its drivers make less than the minimum wage, as the ride-sharing company tries to keep its rates lower than taxis. If you grab one this weekend, remember to tip your driver.

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“You Don’t Know My Name,” Alicia Keys 

The Sixers traded for Travis Outlaw earlier this week. They reflected this change on the team’s website by putting the name and picture of Bo Outlaw on the roster instead. Not even the Sixers know the names of their basketball players. LOL LOL LOL Sixers!

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“Shake It Off,” Taylor Swift

Well, our favorite porny emails judge, Seamus McCaffery, retired this week so he wouldn’t risk losing his pension from all this porny emails business. We might not be hearing much from him ever again. So we just want to Shay, Shay, Shay, Shay, Shay, shake it off, shake it off!

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“Chinese” Lily Allen

Oh Comcast, every once in a while you do make us happy. After a settling a years-long class-action lawsuit this week, many subscribers are entitled to $15 or six free Pay-Per-View movies (no word on whether you can switch out the six movies to get WWE’s “Royal Rumble” instead). Time to order up some Chinese and watch TV!

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“I Fought The Law,” Bobby Fuller Four 

Eric Frein — caught.

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“Imagine,” John Lennon

City council passed a hate crime bill for Philadelphia that allows prosecutors to seek extra jail time for criminals convicted of hate crimes. The topic had come to the forefront after the brutal attack of two gay men in Center City. Philadelphia’s leaders are now calling for Pennsylvania to adopt similar measures for state law.

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“Hot N Cold” Katy Perry 

SEPTA won’t strike this week, but next week? Who knows?! Negotiations are farther apart than Pennsylvania to California then supposedly they’re getting closer. Make up your mind!

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“Stay” Jackson Browne

Halloween is a great holiday and all, but something even greater beckons on Saturday in Fall Back Night. With Daylight Saving Time ending, 2 a.m. becomes 1 a.m. Which means: We get an extra hour at the bar. So, wherever you’re at, stay….just a little bit longer.

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“Dracula’s Wedding” Andre 3000 feat. Kelis 

Philly was named the best city for vampires in America (we kind of already knew this). Happy Halloween, everyone!

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Mark Dent is a reporter/curator at BillyPenn. He previously worked for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, where he covered the Jerry Sandusky scandal, Penn State football and the Penn State administration. His...