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Read the news of the day in less than 10 minutes — not that we’re counting.

A week’s worth of Philadelphia news can be difficult to remember. And it can be so devoid of flavor, of life, of … music! At Billy Penn, we’ll help you recall the stories worth knowing by making a nifty soundtrack you can jam to. Here are the songs that best represented Philadelphia this week (Spotify playlist at the bottom).

“The World Has Turned and Left Me Here,” Weezer

UberX is now allowed everywhere in Pennsylvania except for Philadelphia. As the rest of the state moves on into the future with ride sharing, Philadelphia people will be sitting here waiting, hoping the cops don’t arrive on horses and pull over their Uber.

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“Testify,” Common

Walter Palmer Charter School closed its doors last month, and two of its officials were questioned this week by the school district in a “charter hearing.” During their questioning about billing practices, the officials pleaded the Fifth Amendment — wait for it — 77 times. Keep in mind that this was a hearing, not court. A district spokesperson said nobody had ever pleaded the Fifth even once in a charter hearing.

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“Please Don’t Go,” Mike Posner 

Oh, how the city loves us Philadelphia millennials. More than 100,000 people between the ages of 25-34 moved into Philadelphia between 2006 and 2012. With the State of Young Philly event going on over the next several days, we ask: How can Philadelphia keep its young population as the young people grow older?

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“Chariots of Fire Theme,” Vangelis 

Yay for runners. About half of a group of 50 West Philly Runners beat a SEPTA bus over a 3.5 mile course on Wednesday. SEPTA wants a rematch, though, on Roosevelt Boulevard.

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“Price Tag,” Jessie J

Tom Wolf announced that he and his transition team, composed largely of people with Philly ties, will not be accepting gifts, even though it’s legal to do so. He plans to extend this ban throughout the state’s executive branch. We don’t need your money, right? Exceeeeeept, maybe they SHOULD start accepting gifts on behalf of Pennsylvania — cash, please. Thursday reports showed the state is facing a $2 billion deficit and its credit cards are maxed out. Hope you’re still happy you won, Wolf-man!

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“Batdance,” Prince

Philly’s own Jackson Gordon (perhaps he’s related to Commissioner Gordon) is seeking $1,000 on Kickstarter to build a batsuit. Not a costume, a real suit, with armor. As of this morning, he’d earned $905.

It’s a phenomenal idea, but the better idea would be trying to replicate the insane costumes from the music video of this Prince song from 1989, when Prince did the entire soundtrack for “Batman.” Unfortunately, the video with the music is not on YouTube, so there’s nothing to embed (thus the screen shot only). You can watch the original video here, however, and saying that it’s well worth your time would be an understatement.

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“Factory,” Bruce Springsteen

Mark Sanchez went to Geno’s and Pat’s after Monday night’s Eagles victory. He had a cheesesteak at both and a fan even offered him some cheese fries. Slumming it up in South Philly like you’re just one of us regular working guys? Bravo, Mark. But enjoy it now. If you turn back into the Mark Sanchez the Jets fans know all about, these trips to Pat’s and Geno’s might not be nearly as fun.

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“Don’t Stay Home,” 311

Attorney general Kathleen Kane, according to her spokesperson, can’t come to work until November 24 because of a concussion she suffered in a car accident (she wasn’t wearing her seat belt). The excuse has interesting timing, considering the crash occurred the day she was reportedly supposed to testify in front of a grand jury about possible improper leaks from her office. No work means no testifying, so certainly her many opponents would like her to not stay home.

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“A Marshmallow World,” Dean Martin 

That’s right we’re giving in: Christmas music is already making an appearance on the Playlist. It was snowing – sort of – Thursday night, Dilworth Park ice skating rink is now open, it’s cold as hell outside and soooooo many amazing holiday activities are starting in Philadelphia.


“Little Red Corvette,” Prince 

Sometimes the songs are just too easy to pick. On Monday afternoon, John Kramer allegedly drove a Corvette into the Delaware River. Turns out, it belonged to his estranged wife. He shared this tale with media, including the detail of the text message he sent to his daughter after driving the ‘Vette into the river: “Too late; it’s already gone LOL.”  Then he turned himself in wearing a Lito Sheppard Eagles jersey. Thanks, John, for the funny story and the opportunity to have two Prince songs on this playlist. Oh, and the Corvette was actually red, too.

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Mark Dent is a reporter/curator at BillyPenn. He previously worked for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, where he covered the Jerry Sandusky scandal, Penn State football and the Penn State administration. His...