There’s been one thing missing in the vast amount of coverage of Philly sports — What do the main characters’ emoji look like?
Just think: The next text about Chip Kelly’s trades would look so much better with this guy in there, right?
So with that in mind, Billy Penn designer Jayna Wallace created our inaugural list of sports emoji.
Sure, he may not be around all season. But he’s pitching today, and he was a pretty big piece of the 2008 World Series puzzle. And that’s enough for us.
You could argue (as the Phillies have!) that he’s over the hill, past his prime and needs to move on. But there was a time when, with the bases loaded at the Bank, Ryan Howard struck mortal fear into opposing teams — and everyone in the building knew a big hit was coming.
Three words, you guys; “World. Fucking. Champions.” Chase Utley became a Philadelphia hero that day.
The skipper took the Phillies to the promised land and ended the Curse of Billy Penn. We’ll even try to forget this super-disturbing moment:
It wasn’t easy to follow Chollie Manuel as the Phillies’ next manager, so what better way to memorialize all the questionable decisions and press conference non-sequiturs since then than an emoji?
We included Amaro on this list solely to make complaining about payroll easier — want to blame someone for inflated salaries and a lackluster cast of minor-league prospects? Here’s your emoji.
The Phillie Phanatic
Is there another mascot in Major League Baseball whose signature move is air-humping, with an inappropriately-sized tongue thrown in there for kicks? Never change, Phanatic.
Citizens Bank Park
It wouldn’t take much to follow the Vet as a venue, but the Phillies’ home is just a great place to go, regardless of how things are going on the field. During sellout, salad days, it was tough to take it all in… These days, it’s a lot easier to appreciate than what’s on the field.
Mo’Ne Davis, Taney Dragons
Sam Hinkie, Sixers
He’s a genius! He’s a moron! He’s running a pyramid scheme! Whatever the complaint, we’re all about saving you characters — this is what the financial wizard who’s either saving or ruining the Sixers looks like as an emoji.
Howard Eskin, Fox 29
Howard Eskin has made himself one of Philly’s sports figures almost by proxy. So hey, we figured the broadcaster, who now works for Fox 29, deserved his very own emoji.
We’ll definitely be rolling out more emoji as the seasons turn on in Philly sports — hit us up on Twitter or Facebook with your suggestions.