Post updated at 3:45 p.m.
There are a lot of words you could use to describe the now-wrapping up trial of Chaka Fattah Jr. Two of the best, though? Fiesta Pizza.
It all started last week during Fattah’s federal trial on bank and tax fraud charges when a former roommate said that instead of working on one of his several businesses, Fattah could usually be found in his West Philly apartment “watching Law and Order, laying on the couch, and eating a Fiesta Pizza.”
Fattah, the son of also-indicted Philly Congressman Chaka Fattah, is facing charges he, among other things, defrauded the Philadelphia School District and created illegitimate businesses all while living his own lavish lifestyle.
The trial is wrapping up today, and apparently the Fiesta Pizza references struck some sort of a chord:
Fiesta Pizza is a West Philly pizza joint at 4518 Baltimore Ave. and we were curious about its reputation. So we perused through the always-100-percent-accurate-and-fair Yelp for some of the best and worst reviews of the place. Here’s what we found searching through Fiesta’s Yelp, which averages out at a solid three stars:
James B., of Philadelphia – one star
First, I have some good news. If you have been wondering whatever became of Sheneneh Jenkins from “Martin”, look no further; she works the phones at Fiesta Pizza… Do yourself a favor and eat some ground glass instead of ordering from Fiesta Pizza.
In Fiesta Pizza’s defense, this guy also wrote that he was angry that he ordered his burger with the bun on the side and the bun did not, in fact, come on the side. Why you would order a burger sans bun is beyond the realm of comprehension.
Matthew B., who apparently now lives in Brooklyn – one star
100% the worst pizza in the world. I’ve lived in this neighborhood for 27 years, and have wanted nothing to do with this place for every minute of it.
Ouch, harsh, don’t tell Chaka.
Jazmin I., of Philadelphia – two stars
“Meh. I’ve experienced better.” barely encapsulates Fiesta’s extreme level of mediocrity. They should be utterly ashamed of the chicken gyro they served me. Watery sauce, limp lettuce, overly-spicy, and greasy, and those were the good points. Ugh. I don’t even like reliving the memory.
Good thing you’re writing all about it on the Internet!
Jake P., of PA – three stars
A weird statement… but on the fly years ago, I ordered their banana pudding. If you’re one of the few people under the age of 65 that enjoys such a delicacy, I’d recommend this place instantly.
Their other food is very run of the mill.
Leo R., Philadelphia – three stars
Fiesta pizza is definitely middle of the road. The pizza isn’t the greatest, in fact at some point I thought I was eating Ellios. The staff is really nice and care about the business. They have good hours and are in a good location, everything a pizza place should be in a city.
Ellios? Why are we acting like that’s a normal thing for prepared pizza to taste like? Cardboard with ketchup? Help.
Anne B., of Merced, Calif. – five stars
I really love this place and have eaten here in person and gotten delivery through GrubHub. They have a massive selection of pizza, salads, hoagies, cheesesteaks, and various desserts. Everything I’ve had has been well proportioned and a reasonable price. Whenever I order online, the delivery arrives about 15 minutes before expected and it’s hot and fresh! I’ve had the regular cheese steak and the pizza steak, as well as the chili fries and the Fiesta Salad. Very reasonable prices, friendly service, and a convenient location. Love it!
Anne B., one of three people to rate this place five stars, forgot to tell you her real name is pronounced *cough* Chip Fattah.
Update! There’s apparently a Fiesta Pizza II in Roxborough. And these are the reviews from that location:
Lyle Z., of Washington Township, N.J. – one star
This is the worst Pizza I have ever had. I’ve had better from the freezer. Curly fries were good but that hardly makes up for this pizza abomination.
OK, there’s that sly Ellios reference again.
Dan W., of West Chester – two stars
Fiesta doesn’t even qualify as decent. The size of the pie was very small for the price and the quality just wasn’t good at all. Honestly, I’ve yet to find a decent pizza place in the area. I honestly haven’t had anything else off their menu, but I can say that the pizza is nothing to write home about…unless you’re writing to tell them that the pizza wasn’t that good.
This is like a giant mehhhhhhh stretched out for too many words.
Steve C., of Conshohocken – two stars
This place is absolutely awful. Ordered takeout wings and pizza. The wings were actually surprisingly good and very meaty…so that’s a plus. Now to the pizza. I could have gone to the grocery store, got a frozen pizza, and popped it in the oven and it tasted 20 times better. We ordered these late on a Friday night and when the delivery guy got there (late), we were all shocked at how small and unattractive they were (the pizzas).
Maybe you shouldn’t have (called) for the (pizzas) so (late), (Steve).
Brian M., of Philadelphia – four stars
I order delivery from Fiesta about once a week. Almost everything I’ve tried on their menu has been pretty tasty. Strombolis, calzones, pizza, cheesesteaks, other hot sandwches, and appetizers have all been great. Fast delivery to Manayunk / Roxborough area. Have never eaten at the restaurant, but their employees have always been friendly over the phone.
Wait, maybe this one is Chip Fattah… I’ll get back to you once I find out if Brian M. is also really into Law and Order.