There’s one place better than Philadelphia to learn things about Philadelphia: Yahoo Answers.

The site’s famous forum format allows people from around the world to have civil discourse about deep topics often debated from wildly different views.

OK, who are we kidding? It’s home to some of the world’s most idiotic posters. It’s a place where people who don’t know how to Google ask other people who are not experts to answer their questions for them. (And then the results show up high on Google. Internet!)

It’s the Internet equivalent of screaming out things you’re thinking about on a crowded subway and hoping someone responds correctly or at least interestingly. So naturally we perused Yahoo Answers for the most ridiculous questions we could find about Philly. Here’s what we came up with:

1. Is Philadelphia a State?

The right answer: The city of Philadelphia is the largest city in Pennsylvania (State). So the answer is NOPE.

The most entertaining answer: Although the rest of Pennsylvania wishes Philadelphia would secede and become it’s own state, no Philadelphia is a city in Pennsylvania.

Read the rest here.

2. Did the Philadelphia Eagles ever win a Super Bowl?

The right answer: The Eagles lost Super Bowl XXXIX to the New England Patriots and Super Bowl XV to the Oakland Raiders. They have never won a Super Bowl, but did win NFL championships in 1948, 1949 and 1960 before the Super Bowl came around.

The most entertaining answer: no, not yet. Watch out for the eagles this year. I’m good friends with Joe Banner, the President/Chief Operating Officer of the Eagles. He told me that the Eagles are going to take Vernon Davis, the huge TE out of Maryland, who can also double as a receiver because of his speed and talent. He also said to watch them in free agency. He said his to main players to land were Randel-El and Will Witherspoon.

Read the rest here.

3. Are the people of Philadelphia mean, or rude?

The right answer: No, but they also are not phonies who suck up to tourists. Philadelphians are very blunt, and speak their minds, and sometimes that is mistaken for rudeness, but really it is just honesty. They don’t suffer fools well.

I am a native Philadelphian, we are friendly and outgoing. Just don’t act stupidly and expect us to sympathize with you. We go way out of our way to help people, and look after each other far better than people do in other cities.

The most entertaining answer: People from Philly are nice for the most part UNTIL they come down to the Cape May Area. Then they become assholes thinking its OK to destroy our home. HOWEVER i would take a million Philly people over 1 NYC person … now they are just awful people!

Read the rest here.

4. Umm… Is Philadelphia ugly? Are the women of Philadelphia ugly?

Question details: Umm I’m just curious. I’m recently hearing a lot of negative stuff about Philadelphia. About how the women are incredibly unattractive. The city is kinda dirty and trashy. The people are drunk and are on too much medicine. I’ve never been to Philly.

The right answer: I think women in Philly are fairly average looking. I have been to other cities where people are more attractive. Philly isn’t a city that is really into physical fitness, so there are more overweight people than other places. The girls are usually nice looking when I go out in Philly on the weekends, but during the day is a bit of a different story.

The most entertaining answer: wow I’m offended by this. I’m neither fat or ugly and I live in Philadelphia. The city is just like any other city. What kind of a question is this. Come here and yell that in the street after a Phillies game and see what happens.

Read the rest here.

4. Any underage bars in Philadelphia?

Question details: Really trying to find a bar that’s not strict on the drinking age.. I could probably pass for 19 or 20. Any suggestions?

The right answer: I am not going to help you out in any way. You know better than to ask this question. Be safe and LIVE! Sources: personal experience

The best answer: Sorry, that one was the only answer.

Read the rest here.

5. Happy Ending Massage Parlor?

Question details: Does anybody know where I can get a Special Massage……….. in Philadelphia?

The right answer: Check the Yellow Pages of your local telephone directory.

The best answer: check out craigslist. thts where a friend and i go to get chicks or 3/4somes arond philly. Sources: horndog

Read the rest here.

6. What happened in July 4 1776?

The right answer: On July 4, 1776, we claimed our independence from Britain and Democracy was born. The Congress met in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and they appointed a committee (a group of people working together to do a specific job) to write a formal document that would tell Great Britain that the Americans had decided to govern themselves.

The best answer: i think that was when the declaration of independence was written and/or signed……i think

Read the rest here.

7. Are there any beaches in Philadelphia?

Question details: school is out and im really bored. i want to go to a beach but i dont think theres one near me and my parents told me if i could find one than maybe i could go. please help me !

The right answer: No, but rivers to see……New Jersey is the place for beaches, it’s two hours long from hear (depending on the traffic on car)

The best answer: Frank Rizzo park, near 9th and Passyunk, wear a bikini

Read the rest here.

8. Do you know what PA means in Philadelphia, PA?

The right answer: A was devised by the Post Ofice in the early sixties because they wanted all states to have a two letter abbreviation to be used for mail. Before that, many in Pennsylvania used the short form of “Penna”. It appeared on vehicle license plates like that for many years. Now PA has become accepted for many uses.

The best answer: **facepalm**

Any two letters after the comma would be a state abbreviation. In this case, it would be Pennsylvania.

Read the rest here.

9. What does Philadelphia mean?

Question details: iv been looking for the answer for weeks i realy need help

The right answer: From the name of a city in Asia Minor (also mentioned in the book of Revelation in the New Testament.) The name of the city meant ‘brotherly love’ from Greek (phileo) ‘to love’ and (adelphos) ‘brother.’

The best answer: I can’t imagine where you’ve been looking if it’s taken you “weeks” and you still haven’t found it. Don’t you know how to google, or visit a library and open a history book?

PS Just in case you’re not thinking of the city, or the meaning of the city’s name, it’s just possible you’re thinking of the famous movie “Philadelphia” in which Tom Hanks played a young gay man who gets AIDS and dies. The movie was made in the very early days of the AIDS epidemic and was considered a real landmark in open treatment of the subject.

Read the rest here.

10. Fats about the people of Philadelphia?

The right answer: do you mean facts?

1. Pennsylvania is the first state of the fifty United States to list their web site URL on a license plate.

2. In 1909 the first baseball stadium was built in Pittsburgh.

3. Hershey is considered the Chocolate Capital of the United States.

4. In 1913 the first automobile service station opened in Pittsburgh.

5. In 1946 Philadelphia became home to the first computer.

The best answer: Much too much fats about the people of Philadelphia. All of them need to diet and exercise in that case.

Read the rest here.