“The Nation’s Largest Women’s Expo” is coming to Philadelphia this weekend and it sounds like something Donald Trump might have organized.
A Billy Penn reader shared with us a free ticket she scored in a Center City Starbucks. Because apparently it’s hard to sell $5 tickets to see two “Real Housewives” at a Montgomery County expo center. Who knew?!
The free pass promises womanly things like mani/pedis, holiday shopping and a “Hair Stage,” whateverthefuck that means.
Here, Women’s Expo, we fixed that for you:
The women on our staff — and the staff of our Pittsburgh sister site, The Incline— came up with way too many ideas to fit on this tiny ticket, and also had some thoughts about who would make better speakers. A portion of that conversation from our company Slack is below, edited for brevity:
Shannon Wink (Billy Penn managing editor): ok, what are 10 things you’d rather have at a women’s expo than this shit?
Anna Orso (Billy Penn reporter/curator): Beer tasting
Cassie Owens (Billy Penn reporter/curator): instead of wine tasting?? j/k i respect consensus
Lexi Belculfine (The Incline editor): i’m w cassie. what about wine AND beer AND whiskey tasting
CO: and whiskey yaasssss
Angela Smith (Billy Penn VP of sales & events): whiskey!
Jayna Wallace (designer for Billy Penn & The Incline): Why must women rely on alcohol to have fun
SW: if you don’t like wine are you even a woman? also, salary negotiations
Danya Henninger (Billy Penn culture editor): Easy home workouts (which I can’t believe they don’t actually have on there)
AO: How to teach your son about harassment
DH: How to deal with mansplaining without resorting to violence. Why you don’t have to smile
AS: Work/life balance is actually a real thing and not a pipe dream
SW: replace Holiday Shopping with #treatyoself
AO: How to get ready for work in 10 minutes or less: A workshop on proper caffeine consumption and planning ahead (not hair and makeup, sry)
Allison Hartman (Billy Penn sales & events manager): Don’t buy things that will look good if you “lose 5 lbs.” Buy what makes you feel good, now. Letting go of relationships that cause you grief. Feeling safe at home alone
SW: something else financial…. investment, buying a home, etc
AH: Saving up for something big. Like a monthly plan or something
SW: DIY home repairs
JW: Pink hammers don’t work better than every other hammer
SW: how to get involved in politics/run for office
Angie Nassar (audience development manager for Billy Penn and The Incline): a menstruation summit where we burn tampons and bleed on canvases and hang them as wall art. feeeeemallllessss
JW: Why do haircuts cost so damn much
LB: How to talk to young girls in your life without commenting on their appearance
SW: you’re so pretty!
JW: Related, for tweens: Those kids who’re being mean aren’t doing it because they like you.
SW: omg yes. that boy pulling your hair is just an asshole
SW: this flier is pretty white/cis-oriented, too
AO: any other ideas for speakers? who are not famous for being housewives? sister mary. cindy bass
SW: who’s a good celeb? since that’s their angle
AO: tina fey
JW: Helen Mirren. Oprah. Ellen DeGeneres
AO: amy gutmann repping higher education in philly
SW: Shonda Rhimes? she has a lot of important stuff to say about inclusivity and diversity
AO: oh hell yeah get it shonda
i would like to hear from an astronaut. just because
JW: Joan Jett
AO: ok gotta get back to writing about two white men running for political office brb
AN: in defense of just being a normal fucking human being: ordinary philly moms
AO: im sorry i have one more thought. how to read the daily news while avoiding stu bykofsky’s thoughts
AH: i like that angie
SW: haaaaaaaaaaa can i getta Stop Apologizing session
AO: * retracts my slack at 1:12 that begins with “im sorry” *
AN: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
AH: also i wish i knew how to exit my house if there was an intruder. i know that seems anti-woman empowerment but it’s true
SW: a self defense thing would be good
AO: best ways for cis women to be more welcoming to trans women in everyday life
CO: Free coding classes rather than free makeovers. Massages can stay tho.