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Read the news of the day in less than 10 minutes — not that we’re counting.

Ever wonder how to marry an illegal immigrant in Philly? Maybe you’re wondering what you need to do in order to be a real Eagles fan. Whatever your dilemma may be, have no fear- eHow’s got your back, as always. Here are six of the strangest eHow guides revolving around all things Philly, complete with tl;drs and a choice quote from each how-to.
TL;DR: Wooder, Iggles, beg.
HIGHLIGHT: Names of the days of the week always end in “dy,” not day (Mundy, Wensdy).
TL;DR: Don’t marry an illegal immigrant in Philadelphia.
HIGHLIGHT: Love can happen anywhere and at any time…A citizen of Philadelphia, for instance, may find himself happily married to the girl next door, or he may find himself swept away by a mysterious beauty from some distant land.
TL;DR: The internet.
HIGHLIGHT: Having a name and a few basic verification facts such as age and gender will help you find someone in Philadelphia.
TL;DR: Put ’em in the microwave.
HIGHLIGHT: Place the plate into the microwave and microwave on high for 30 seconds.
TL;DR: They’re different cities.
HIGHLIGHT: Philly and Boston, however, have differences, too.
TL;DR: Like the Eagles.
HIGHLIGHT: Learn the Eagles fight song. Download the song from their website. Rehearse it with friends.