Joel Embiid eyes a Shirley Temple

It was Shirley Temple night at the WFC on Wednesday as the Sixers have gone into full-on promotion mode to get Joel Embiid into the All-Star Game.

Whatever was in the drinks worked, as the Sixers toppled the Knicks on a last-second shot by T.J. McConnell, pulling off the team’s fourth win in five games, giving the Sixers more wins than they had all of last season. Grenadine and cherry juice for everyone!

Wednesday started with a big Sixers media push, as local radio and TV hosts downed Shirley Temples to get the word out to vote for Embiid using his name and #NBAVote on Twitter. As of the latest totals released by the NBA, Embiid was in fourth place as he attempts to become just the second rookie since 2003 to be named to the All-Star Game.

At practice, Embiid talked more about Shirley Temples. They’re really hammering this thing home.

The drink was available for purchase at all bar locations during Wednesday’s win, and free Shirley Temples were given out to the media at the game. Or…whatever this is.

That got us thinking, with all this Shirley Temple promotion for Embiid’s All-Star chances, what would the Sixers do for each of the other players on the team. Embiid doesn’t drink alcohol, but we’re not limiting this list to just non-alcoholic options. The Sixers are winning! Let’s imbibe!

Nerlens Noel – Old Fashioned

Nerlens Noel – Old Fashioned Credit: Wikimedia Commons/USA TODAY Sports

The longest-tenured Sixers player who was a star at Kentucky and is openly upset about the current roster situation? Yeah, that’s easy. Bourbon and bitters.

A dash of sugar and water with ice and a garnish and you’ve got the perfect drink for Nerlens. (Hint: Extra bitters.)

Jahlil Okafor – Whiskey Sour

Jahlil Okafor – Whiskey Sour Credit: Wikimedia Commons/USA TODAY Sports

If Noel is bitter, then Okafor is surely sour. It’s just whiskey, lemon juice, sugar and ice then pour into your favorite glass and leave it on a bench for 48 minutes before drinking.

Gerald Henderson – The Duke

Gerald Henderson – The Duke Credit: Epicurus/USA TODAY Sports

This drink could be good for Okafor too if it were more sour. This needs a veteran’s stomach to handle. It’s champagne, cherry liqueur, Triple Sec, lemon juice, orange juice and…one whole egg. Yikes.

Robert Covington – Sweet and Vicious Shot

Robert Covington – Sweet and Vicious Shot Credit: TODAY Sports

Sometimes it goes down smooth, sometimes it makes you feel sick. This is Robert Covington’s offensive game in a glass. Combine 1 oz. Bailey’s Vanilla Cinnamon liqueur and ½ oz. tequila. Shake well and pour into a chilled shot glass with a strawberry for garnish.

Sergio Rodriguez – Sangria

Sergio Rodriguesz – Sangria Credit: Flickr/USA TODAY Sports

This felt a little on the nose, but it’s not just because Rodriguez is Spanish. Sangria is just…different. It’s part drink, part fruit salad. It’s got bits of everything inside and you never exactly know how it’s going to taste from day to day, yet it feels like the best drink on this list to just grab a glass and chill. Red wine, brandy, citrus, triple sec and half the fruit section at your local market.

Ersan Ilyasova – Wild Turkey

Ersan Ilyasova – Wild Turkey Credit: Wikipedia/USA TODAY Sports

Yes, this was on the nose. Ilyasova is anything but wild on the court, but there isn’t a drink we could find called The Professional. And if a guy’s from Turkey, sometimes you don’t overthink the promotional drink options.

Dario Saric – The Crocktail

Dario Saric – The Crocktail Credit: TODAY Sports

About four years ago someone in Croatia decided the nation needed its own signature drink. And thus, the Crocktail was created. Cherry liqueur, sour cherry juice, lemon juice, Arancini — candied orange peel manufactured in Dubrovnik — with cherries for garnish and lots of ice. It’s almost like a Shirley Temple with liquor and better. Let’s get on this, Sixers.

Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot – French Connection

Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot – French Connection Credit: Pinterest/USA TODAY Sports

There are a lot of French options, and yes it would have been easy to just pick a good Cab, but we went with the French Connection, which is two parts cognac to one part either Amaretto or Grand Marnier, depending on what you have and how you feel. As drinks go, this is probably the coolest drink on the list. Note: there is a drink called the T.L.C. with whiskey, orange liqueur, Richard pastis, vermouth and bitters, which also sounds cooler than anything else on this list.

Ben Simmons – Foster’s

Ben Simmons – Foster’s

Fun fact: Foster’s is not Austalian for beer. In fact, there have been lawsuits over that tagline misleading customers. Aussies don’t even drink Foster’s, according to this Aussie. They drink VB. Alas, Simmons can’t even legally drink in America, so this probably isn’t an issue, but it would be so typical ‘Merica to use a beer Australians don’t like to promote an Aussie. Hence…Foster’s. Now where’s my boomerang and koala?

Nik Stauskas – Hot Sauce

Nik Stauskas – Hot Sauce Credit: Flickr/USA TODAY Sports

I wanted to use Canadian Club, but at the last minute found this wonderful concoction instead. Royal Crown, vodka, hot sauce. That’ll warm your insides and it still has a Canadian connection. For the best experience, you must use “Sauce Castillo: the official hot sauce of Nik Stauskas.”

Jerryd Bayless – Shrimp Cocktail

Jerryd Bayless – Shrimp Cocktail Credit: Flickr/USA TODAY Sports

Shrimp cocktail is a cocktail, right? Honestly, we just wanted an excuse to make have something that would enable use to make an Old Bay pun. You’re welcome. There is actually something called an Old Bay Martini, which is vodka, hot sauce (!!!) lemon and a tablespoon of Old Bay seasoning. You’re welcome again.

Chasson Randle – Night and Day

Chasson Randle – Night and Day Credit: Spoon University/USA TODAY Sports

What do you make for a guy on a 10-day contract?  3 oz. champagne, ¾ oz. cognac, ½ oz Grand Marnier, bitters. The Night and Day, because who knows how many nights or days he’ll be here.

Richaun Holmes – Lapsang Souchong Tea

Richaun Holmes – Lapsang Souchong Tea Credit: Wikimedia Commons/USA TODAY Sports

Who is the most famous Holmes of all time? Sherlock Holmes! Did you know, Sherlock Holmes may not have actually liked tea and was a coffee drinker? And yet, Lapsang Souchong tea was made famous by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. So if it’s good enough for that Holmes, it’s good enough for ours. There is a drink at Food & Wine called the Sherlock Holmes, which is single-malt Scotch, Lapsang Souchong tea, honey syrup and lemon juice. That sounds delicious, Holmes.

T.J. McConnell – Milk

TJ McConnell – Milk Credit: Public Domain Pictures/USA TODAY Sports

Yeah, the white guy joke we were all waiting to make. But also, milk isn’t smooth, it’s not cool or sexy or like some of these other drinks, but it’s full of good stuff and has a long history of helping us grow. Milk may not be as vital once we’re grown, but to get to that point, it’s a key part of the rotation. After Wednesday’s win, McConnell has proven he’s that.