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Read the news of the day in less than 10 minutes — not that we’re counting.

It’s officially Super Bowl week, folks. Monday brought the kickoff event, which used to be called Super Bowl Media Day but now holds the grand title of Super Bowl Opening Night.

The orchestrated spectacle served to introduce the contending teams to the fans on site, and to give the thousands of media people who won’t otherwise get a chance to talk to Tom Brady the opportunity to ask who his favorite Game of Thrones character is. (Who is it? He doesn’t know anything about pop culture. Oh.)

From players being quizzed on what Kanye and Kim named their baby to a dog interviewing a shark interviewing an Eagle, the evening in Minneapolis got weird.

Here’s some of what went down.

A night for the dogs

Why not? pic.twitter.com/ODHnAaIdFC

— Melissa Jacobs (@thefootballgirl) January 30, 2018

Hard-hitting football analysis here. pic.twitter.com/rqFPQgPnn5

— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) January 30, 2018

BRANDON GRAHAM IS ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN A DOG MASK pic.twitter.com/Qg4DZ2kkLS

— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) January 30, 2018

Canine mentality: @MalcolmJenkins says the @Eagles still feel like underdogs. #SBLII

?: @nflnetwork #SBOpeningNight https://t.co/BI2AQGQ1a9

— NFL (@NFL) January 30, 2018

The Snuffleupagus x Joseph Abboud collab pic.twitter.com/zf3vzhNYYY

— AF (@ArkansasFred) January 30, 2018

That’s Cowboys legend and NFL Network analyst Michael Irvin in a suit that may have been made from dog fur. Here’s a closer look.

Credit: NFL Network

Bill Belichick smiles

The Patriots had their media session first. Bill Belichick smiled. The NFL Network counted them. He almost got to 10.

They have a Bill Belichick smile counter ? pic.twitter.com/1OWsSmKEBV

— ??? ???????? ???? (@sportingnews) January 30, 2018

Reporter: “What is the easiest way to make Bill Belichick laugh?

Tom Brady: “Man, I have no idea.”

— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) January 30, 2018

Does this count as a smile? pic.twitter.com/XzWleC00Ye

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

This one did not make him smile:

Bill Belichick doesn’t have much to say to @IAMGUILLERMO pic.twitter.com/UOAHgolWyh

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 30, 2018

Tonya Harding got an award-winning movie made about her this year. Nancy Kerrigan got a front row spot to talk to Bill Belichick. Neither of them seem too happy about it.

[twitter url=”https://twitter.com/GoesslingStrib/status/958152418927181824″ display_media=”true” exclude_parent=”false” ]

The most impressive thing you’ll see all day

Here’s the Patriots’ Joe Thuney solving a Rubik’s Cube in like a minute pic.twitter.com/OqCScRmWN8

— RandBall (@RandBall) January 30, 2018

The least impressive thing you’ll see all day

The Patriots have been here so many times that this is the conversation the people want to see. pic.twitter.com/31U2JaaM2X

— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) January 30, 2018

The second least impressive thing you’ll see all day

This Danish reporter is going around asking players about their grandmothers because he likes his grandmother and is the best thing about this silly event. pic.twitter.com/tVCiGWeVub

— Louis “PTBNL Issue 1 OUT NOW” Bien (@louisbien) January 30, 2018

Austrian football: A thing

It must be Super Bowl Media Day … or Opening Night, or whatever branding title we’re working with these days. pic.twitter.com/c2lMUVovO9

— Cork Gaines, Ph.D. (@CorkGaines) January 30, 2018

Doug Pederson wears dad jeans

We used to call Charlie Manuel Uncle Cholly. Does that make Doug Pederson Daddy Doug? Okay that sounds a little creepy nevermind.

Doug Pederson is in dad jeans. #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/eZcLJy9RYM

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

Pederson was also asked if he was a tree what kind of tree would he be and without hesitation he said, “a Douglas fir.”

‘You know nothing, Tom Brady.’

Tom Brady knows zero about pop culture pic.twitter.com/mAIsLULV6f

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 30, 2018

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This is a great answer to a bad question

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Vikings fans booed the Eagles

Stay classy, Vikings fans.

When PA guy asked how many #Eagles fans are here, loud boos from crowd. Obviously, jilted #Vikings fans. pic.twitter.com/Fwo589LLQA

— Martin Frank (@Mfranknfl) January 30, 2018

Vikings fans booing the #Eagles, but it’s because they’re so hospitable Minnesota wants the Eagles to feel at home. pic.twitter.com/9h4mpRq3MW

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

Vikings fans just booed the Eagles as they walked on stage holding hands with children. Children! Where is the decency??

— Bo Wulf (@Bo_Wulf) January 30, 2018

Most interesting part of Opening Night so far is Vikings fans here booing the Eagles vociferously.

— Ross Tucker (@RossTuckerNFL) January 30, 2018

Vikings fans doing Skol chants when Eagles on the stage pic.twitter.com/Imhfj15Gfx

— Rachel Micali (@RachelMicali) January 30, 2018

Foles in the spotlight

Nick Foles did a sit down interview with Tom Brady, Malcolm Jenkins and Devin McCourty between team sessions, then had the full spotlight of media day on him as the Eagles’ starting quarterback. He is handling this nicely.

“I’m a better person, a better player because of it. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Nick Foles reflects on his journey to #SBLII with @Kurt13Warner ⤵️ https://t.co/FsU6VapBV2

— NFL Network (@nflnetwork) January 30, 2018

As for Carson Wentz…

Carson Wentz’s view of #SuperBowl media day. pic.twitter.com/d9rMBa8p1i

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

“It’ll give me an edge to want to be back, without a doubt.” –@cj_wentz on not playing in #SBLII

?: @nflnetwork #SBOpeningNight https://t.co/ByqWed59Ja

— NFL (@NFL) January 30, 2018

Fletcher Cox still out there lying

Fletcher Cox is still letting the lie that he’s never watched the Super Bowl run wild even though that has been thoroughly debunked. He seemed to be having fun Monday night.

‘I just gotta sit here and look ugly for an hour?’ — Fletcher Cox embracing media day pic.twitter.com/Vwb0hrkayV

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 30, 2018

But when Cox was asked what movie makes him cry, he denies that he cries. Lies!

Somebody asked Fletcher Cox to name a movie that makes him cry. He insisted he doesn’t cry. Tough questions for the #Eagles on #SuperBowl Opening Night. pic.twitter.com/pNQRpb6HLn

— The Philadelphia Inquirer (@PhillyInquirer) January 30, 2018

America’s most athletic family loves tacos

USWNT midfielder Julie Ertz is here to support her husband, #Eagles  tight end Zach Ertz, and is showing off. pic.twitter.com/fUELB0nV8V

— Aaron Kasinitz (@AaronKazreports) January 30, 2018

Family photo. #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/3tugzzJD7W

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

Zach Ertz: Huge fan of @julieertz‘s tacos pic.twitter.com/EnYwa8GFKh

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 30, 2018

Speaking of food

This is a thing, I guess.

Here is Eagles practice squad player Billy Brown sliding a cookie from his forehead to his mouth, because this is apparently what the media needs https://t.co/HZMD1svkBe

— Benjamin Livingston (@bliv94) January 30, 2018

Swoop got a date

Meet my boyfriend, Swoop. #SBOpeningNight pic.twitter.com/zBUptsahmg

— Karisa Maxwell (@KarisaMaxwell) January 30, 2018

Smoking and drinking

Imagine getting paid money to go to Super Bowl media day just to say stupid things to people in hopes they don’t laugh, because the awkwardness of you not getting a laugh will make the studio audience and those watching at home laugh even more.

‘Do you ever smoke Blount?’

Yup. It’s media day… ? pic.twitter.com/VcQLCSeC3v

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 30, 2018

And while we’re on the topic of vices, Lane Johnson was asked about his promise to buy the city of Philadelphia beer if the Eagles win the Super Bowl. His response (while wearing a ridiculous hat and Jay Ajayi’s sunglasses): I ain’t scared.

Lane Johnson asked about buying beers for the entire city of Philadelphia if the #Eagles win the #SuperBowl: “I am not scared of making this town happy. Zero.” pic.twitter.com/iGK0wB0ce6

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

Chris Long’s tattoo bet

Talk about being scared…

.@JOEL9ONE made a bet with his linebacker coach…

If the @Eagles win #SBLII, he has to get a portrait of the coach tattooed on him ? pic.twitter.com/UCfbbef6vh

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) January 30, 2018

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For reference, the face of the coach Long will have to get tattooed on his arm if the Eagles win looks like this.

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Favorite tweet of the night, Vol. 1

I’m putting one of my tweets on this list because when you can make a not-so-subtle dig at the Patriots during an NFL Network cut to commercial you just have to do it.

That must be one of the Patriots footballs. #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/4CuVivyTav

— Dan Levy (@DanLevyThinks) January 30, 2018

Favorite tweet of the night, Vol. 2

There were a lot of very good tweets during media day. This is one of the best.

I feel like people haven’t properly factored in the effect Aquaman could have on Sunday’s football contest. pic.twitter.com/MQAyqTPOOn

— Dan Hanzus (@DanHanzus) January 30, 2018

Favorite tweet of the night, Vol. 3

Andrew Perloff, one of Dan Patrick’s radio producers, summed up the night perfectly with this tweet.

This sums up Media Night … I’m getting interviewed by guy in dog mask with Robert Kraft fielding questions right behind me. @NBCSPhilly pic.twitter.com/ZMT32zHXaq

— Andrew Perloff (@andrewperloff) January 30, 2018