Philly TV newscasters somehow look flawless while reporting #HeatWave2018

In conclusion, none of these people sweat.

Alicia Nieves for CBS 3
CBS 3
monicazorrilla

Philadelphia has turned into a fiery hellscape, with record highs being broken all over the place. Temperatures began to rise on June 24, and haven’t relinquished their potency since.

Locals and tourists in town for July Fourth are desperate, flocking to the nearest fountains, cracking open a fire hydrant while no one is watching, sticking to the shade and guzzling down water.

But that’s the plebes, the normies. Apparently, heat waves don’t affect Philly TV reporters.

Catching these journalists on air, there’s no sense that their thighs are chafing, or their bras are absorbing 100 pounds of sweat. Their makeup doesn’t look like it’s pulling a Raiders of the Lost Ark, and their wardrobe makes it seem like their pits somehow aren’t in need of divine intervention

If anything, severe temperatures make these journalists look ever more radiant when they’re outside. And when they’re inside and keeping cool? The A/C invigorates them with inspiration to be silly (or maybe it’s a slight case of heat delirium).

Here are our favorite looks from the reporters covering #HeatWave2018 in Philadelphia.

Bob Brooks, 12:30 p.m. on July 1, 2018, 6abc
6abc

Prior to the Phillies beating the Nationals, 6ABC’s Bob Brooks, proved that in spite of looking like a life-sized Ken doll, he is not made of plastic and therefore cannot melt. Amazing.

Christine Ileto, 11 p.m. on July 1, 2018, Action News
6abc

Another 6ABC reporter, Christie Ileto, was totally pristine after what appears to be a full-day of filming segments on #HeatWave2018. What is the secret to your glowing dewiness, Christine? How can you look so remarkable, so put-together, in spite of what the thermostat indicates?

See the look on the little kid in the background of Ileto’s tweet, crossing his arms with a spiteful and suspicious gaze? Kid, we’re jealous too.

Pamela Osborne, 6:30 a.m. on July 2, 2018, NBC 10
NBC 10

We’re dumbfounded by this skill of appearing flawless on camera while, perhaps, agonizing internally over the scorching weather. NBC10’s Pamela Osborne, regardless of how “dangerous” the heat is, looks seriously cool, calm and collected with nary a bead of perspiration or unflattering sign of dampness in sight.

Alicia Nieves for CBS 3
CBS 3

CBS3’s Alicia Nieves wins this round of “America’s Top Heat Wave Model,” fair and square. She’s the epitome of easy, breezy, beautiful. Maybe she’s born with it?

As the heat wave inclined to its mercurial peak on the thermometer (a walloping 100 degrees Fahrenheit), and Gray Hall and Chris Sowers of 6ABC were looking like a couple of college fraternity brothers trying to stay fresh in their dorm rooms. Those fans are definitely best sellers on the campus essentials aisle of Bed Bath & Beyond.

But, as one commenter on the post’s thread pointed out, at least they didn’t look like this despairing — albeit ingenious — SEPTA rider.

Don’t blame the messenger! NBC10’s Denise Nakano’s hyperbolic expression of WTF, HELL NO pairs wonderfully with Steve Sosna’s ain’t nobody got time for this side-eye.

Hall and Sowers then stepped outside, along with their colleague Nydia Han, and whaddya know? They all look like they’re about to hit up Buckingham Palace for tea with the Queen and her six corgis.

 

Meanwhile, back inside the CBS3 station, Jan Carabeo was reporting on keeping your pets protected from the dangers of a hot house, pavement and car — while looking completely unfazed by the stifling boil beyond the walls. She channeled a Disney princess while giggling gleefully at a fur stallion charging at her.

Yeah, 6ABC’s Annie McCormick looks just as outstanding as the rest of her peers, but her genuine relief of not being hit with a water gun by a random child? In the summer, we can all relate to that.

 

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