Election 2020

Best Yelp reviews of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, which is selling t-shirts

The garden service center is next door to an adult bookshop, across the street from a crematorium, and down the road from a city prison.

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani speaks during the news conference in the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani speaks during the news conference in the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping

John Minchillo / AP Photo
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It’s been a tumultuous few days for everyone, but perhaps none more than Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Since being thrust into the national spotlight Saturday when it hosted a Trump campaign press conference, the Northeast Philly garden service center has been featured on Saturday Night Live, had its Yelp rating dragged into the gutter, and announced it would start selling t-shirts to capitalize on its newfound fame.

Founded in 1992 by lifelong Philadelphian Marie Siravo, according to its website, the business offers both “interior plant maintenance and exterior grounds maintenance.”

It’s still unclear if campaign officials purposely booked the location — which is next door to an adult bookshop, across the street from a crematorium, and down the road from a city prison — or if they were scrambling to please their boss after he mentioned the fancy Center City hotel with a similar name.

President Donald Trump originally tweeted that the press conference would happen at “the Four Seasons,” before deleting and reposting with “Total Landscaping” added in. That prompted the hotel, which takes up the top floors of the Norman Foster-designed Comcast Technology Center, to issue its own clarification.

Before Rudy Giuliani and other defenders of the incumbent president made their way there to announce baseless claims of fraud as news organizations called the race for Joe Biden, the State Road plant business had but four reviews on Yelp, according to the Internet Archive. When a reporter visited the page early Saturday morning, it showed a 3-star rating.

As of Sunday morning, Four Seasons Total Landscaping had more than 50 reviews, and a Yelp rating that had plummeted to 1.5 stars.

Trolling a business on with online reviews is a common tactic, and a note on the page now says “This business is being monitored by Yelp’s Support team for content related to media reports.” Many of the posts on the page are obvious satire.

Here are some of the best examples.

I called to get a quote on repairing a hole in our lawn. The man who answered the phone was speaking Russian and all I heard in the background was a lot of loud sobbing. So much crying. Big tears. Huge.

— Rebecca G. from Gilbert, Ariz.

This place is a hotbed for coronavirus super spreaders. Do not visit unless you want to get COVID.

— Joshua D. from Sterling, Virginia

Hung up on me when I called to ask about their special “we will build a wall & have Mexico pay for it”. Seriously where is a gal to find a honest racist landscaper?

— Colleen P. from Las Vegas, Nevada

Buyer beware! They said they would build the best and most beautiful privacy wall between me and my neighbor, then dumped hundreds of used toilets in my yard and billed me $100k. What am I supposed to do with hundreds of useless toilets?

— Matthew D. from New Berlin, Wisc.

When you are looking to suppress Democracy look no further than this establishment for all your Press Conference needs. Their combination of voter intimidation and lack of legal sanity make this every budding dictator’s dream. Whether you are plotting a military coup or trying to hold back the will of the people this place has what it takes. Their team of constitutional lawyers are standing by to help you suppress your population. Simply the best at being the worst let Four Seasons Landscaping destroy your Democracy once and for all. Also they validate parking

— Eric M. of Westfield, Mass.

They told me that they would put up my fence for nothing and Mexico would pay for it. Then they charged me $3,000 dollars and I found out that they didn’t pay any taxes on it because they employed only illegals. When I said I wasn’t happy they kept whining. They told me they would whine so much I would get sick of the whining. I did get sick of the whining and will use a different company for at least the next four years.

— Huw P. from San Juan, Puerto Rico

They insisted on digging a hole and burying what looked like election ballots. Said they’d be back to dig them up after election. The MAGA hats had me suspicious.

— Dean A. from King of Prussia, Penn.

As is clear from the reviews above, people all over the nation are now aware of the small shop, which is a certified woman-owned business that has contracts with Philadelphia International Airport and the Philadelphia Navy Yard.

In a Sunday morning Facebook post, owner Siravo and her family tried to clarify the situation.

“Four Seasons Total Landscaping is a family-owned small business run by life long Philadelphians,” they wrote. “Our team at Four Seasons would have proudly hosted any presidential candidate’s campaign at our business. We strongly believe in America and in democracy. We hope that our fellow Americans can join together and support all local small businesses during this time.”

There are currently spoof t-shirts being sold, with Gritty pushing a lawnmower.

Or you can support the Northeast Philly spot directly with your swag purchase. A merch store went live on the local business’ website late Sunday evening.

 

Want some more? Explore other Election 2020 stories.

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