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Being able to parallel park is about as Philly as correctly pronouncing Schuylkill and closing out conversations with “Go Birds.”
If you have a car in the city, you inevitably have to stow it somewhere, and that can be a challenge in many neighborhoods. The streets and the spaces can get narrow and the frustrations of the cars and passers-by waiting for you to finish can dissolve any confidence you have.
It’s a ton of pressure, but true Philadelphians are undaunted by the task. The newly-formed Philadelphia Parallel Parking Authority — a grassroots group; not an official city agency — wants to find out who is Philly’s best, while also promoting the skill and raising funds to curb traffic violence.
Adam Wodka, the PPPA’s founder and commissioner, said that parallel parking is one of the tasks that unifies, and often humbles, every Philadelphian.
“Whether you live in the city, you live outside the city, parallel parking is kind of the great equalizer and we all have to do it,” Wodka said.
The competition is Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m. in the South Street Headhouse District’s plaza (2nd and South streets). The event has a rain date of the following Saturday.
What will they be competing for? A trophy, which is a mounted piece of the curb, $76 to cover the winner’s next ticket and — most importantly — bragging rights.
Wodka is making the event not just a heated competition of parallel parking, but a showcase and celebration of the skillset. Contestants have been encouraged to bring some flair with their skill. Along with a celebrity emcee, referee, judges and DJ, the competition will also introduce the city’s newest cute but unhinged mascot to the world, Parallel Pete and his BFF, Curbie. Pete’s a bucktoothed traffic cone with rear-view mirror ears who lives in a pothole and likes eating traffic tickets, so he should fit right into the Philly’s mascot pantheon.
“It is the quirkiest, most Philly event possible and we are the quirkiest business district corridor in the city, so it was a perfect fit,” said Eleanor Ingersoll, executive director of South Street Headhouse District.
The competition has three categories for all 15 competitors, who will use their preferred cars, but will all have to compete without the modern conveniences of cameras and proximity sensors.
The first challenge is the one shot, where competitors get one swipe at a spot and are judged by the distance to the curb of the furthest tire, losing points for hitting the curb or other vehicles.
The second is the tight squeeze, seeing how well they get into a space just a foot-and-a-half longer than their vehicle in the fewest amount of moves.
Lastly, there’s the one all self-conscious drivers dread: parking under duress. The contestant will have to get within 6 inches of the curb quickly while facing the simulated distractions and — let’s call it encouragement — of an impatient vehicle behind them.
The field will be whittled down to the best three contestants, who will each get one park to try and impress the crowd and the judges.
Wodka said the under duress challenge aims to encapsulate what sets parking in Philly apart from the rest of the world, the tough love one has to harden their skin for and view as caring, not cruel.
“It’s like that Philadelphia spirit of, ‘We’re all here for each other in some ways, but also keep it going man, I got to get it home for dinner,’” Wodka said.
Proceeds from the event will go towards Families for Safe Streets Greater Philadelphia, the Bicycle Coalition of Greater Philadelphia’s initiative to curb traffic violence.
Parallel parking competitions began in Pittsburgh in 2021 and have been happening regularly there, as well as in Portland, Oregon Austin and other places.
Pittsburgh’s sixth edition was just a couple weeks ago and included nearly 200 competitors vying for that competition’s golden chair trophy. Portland has also had a competition going.
Despite the PPPA’s very similar name and branding as the much less appreciated Philadelphia Parking Authority, Wodka said that the agency has been supportive of the competition.
“We all want to improve public safety and enhance the quality of life in local neighborhoods,” PPA representative Martin O’ Rourke wrote. “PPPA is on the right track and we wish them well with Saturday’s event.”
Meet the parkers
The field of 15 contestants was chosen from nearly 900 contestant applicants by Wodka and his PPPA executive board, making sure to pick the cream of the crop from different parts of the city. The board selected the first 10, and then let the final five be chosen by an audience vote between four hopefuls for each spot.
Some had experience. Some had swagger. All of them wanted to prove they were the city’s best parallel parker. Wodka said going through the applications was his favorite part.
“It felt like this intimate look into such a large swath of Philadelphians from all over the city, all different types of experience, but all sharing this one passion for parallel parking,” he said.
We spoke with four of the contestants to get an idea of their skillsets and motivations for the tournament.
The Professional
Eastwick resident Will Carr, who will compete under the name “Dark Transit,” has been a SEPTA transit operator for 26 years, which involves parallel parking a bus every day.
On top of that, he’s competed and won awards in several SEPTA Bus Roadeos, the transit authority’s own skill competition.
Carr is one of the two contestants that can best be viewed as professional drivers, along with Tasha, a heavy equipment operator with a Class A license working at the Delaware River Port Authority.
He says being a professional driver and experience with larger vehicles doesn’t mean too much in this competition.
“If this was a driving competition, then yeah, we’re easily the favorites. But it’s not. It’s this specific skill, which is parallel parking,” he said. “Now, someone who parallel parks a car every day may have an advantage over me, because I don’t parallel park my car every day. The bus is different.”
Carr’s wife showed him clips of Portland’s competition, and those had him dreaming about a Philly version even before it was announced.
He’s going to compete in his Dodge Challenger, not his wife’s smaller car, because it’s the clearance he’s most used to. He says he’ll still need to find time to practice ahead of Saturday, just like the amateur drivers.
The Survivor
Mary Zheng has competed professionally before. Not with a car, but on a bigger stage for a way bigger prize. The therapist and musician was a contestant on the 48th season of Survivor, outwitting, outplaying and outlasting her way to seventh place.
She said the stakes feel just as high for her.
“There isn’t the whole $1 million dollars thing up for grabs for the parallel parking, but you get pride, you get the glory, and that’s really what I do things for. It’s for the glory,” she said.
Zheng has been squeezing her Subaru (which had the flame stickers before the competition, she clarified) into Point Breeze’s tight spots for about four years, consistently amazing her friends.
“I just have an intuitive knowing; I know where I’m going to fit. I often get myself into spaces that people don’t think that anyone can ever fit in.” she said. “Am I love tapping a little bit? Yeah, sure, but that’s the name of the game when after you park it’s literally like I can fit one finger on both ends.”
Zheng said Survivor taught her that competing is about the power of the mind and pushing out negative thoughts especially when you’ve been viewed as the underdog. To help counteract the duress challenge, she said might just blast her music to drown out the outside noise.
Her 33rd birthday is the Sunday after the competition and she said winning the competition, or even just making the podium, would truly mean more to her than her Survivor finish.
“What a beautiful day it would be if I could win that,” Zheng said. “It would be the most amazing birthday present that I could give to myself.”
The Artist
Mario Zucca, also known as “One-Shot Mar,” is an artist and illustrator living in West Mount Airy. A Pittsburgh native who has spent half his life in Philly, he said his professional experience will give him good spatial awareness and hand-eye coordination. He also still drives a 2012 Mazda hatchback with no cameras and back-up assistance, so he won’t have to relearn how to park without those modern luxuries.
“I know I’m not as well versed in parallel parking as some of the people who probably live in South Philly, Fishtown and even Manayunk,” he said. “ But actually, it’s like a point of pride when I get the chance to try to squeeze my car into insanely small spots.”
Zucca created “One-Shot Mar” expecting everyone else to be a little cockier with their interview videos. He admitted that contestants like Dark Transit and 90-year-old “Grandmom Jackie,” a 70-year resident of South Philly who says she’s never had an accident, do scare him.
That said, he’ll muster the bravado he showed in his video for Saturday’s, complete with a costume and some props he still needs to decide on.
“I feel pretty good about one shot,” he said about the challenges. “I mean, my name’s One-Shot Mar, so I better be good at that one.”
The Performer
Mir, also known as “Nemesis,” is an acting student living in Northwest Philly. They were bitten by the parking bug early on in their life, inspired after watching their dad parallel park the family station wagon in a tiny space and then receive applause once he stepped out of the car.
They’ve since gotten so good at parking that they get that applause from passengers or passers-by — regularly.
Mir’s video application for the competition involved them parking their car while “having a panic” attack because they were being filmed.
Mir also has an engineering degree, and has previously done metal fabricating and precision machining. So their approach to the competition has been through practice and methodically relearning the car they’ve had since March. The new car is a manual transmission, with no backup camera, and Mir said that reverting back to not having the camera hasn’t been an issue. There is some concern that the hubcaps go past the wheel though.
“It’s like Olympic archery where if you do everything exactly the same way perfectly, you should get a bullseye every time,” Mir said.
Along with training — not quite “Rocky style,” yet — with every open spot they can find in Germantown, Mir is also designing the Tudor-style costume they plan to wear for the competition and decals for the car.
The performance anxiety shouldn’t be an issue, as long as Mir doesn’t have to speak into a camera.
“There’s some discussion between my friends whether it’s about the parallel parking or about the personality. I think I have both,” they said.
