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Read the news of the day in less than 10 minutes — not that we’re counting.

The NFL Draft has officially taken over Philadelphia, and the insufferable cliches about our fair city are already rolling in. You’re going to need some help in order to make it through watching three days of ESPN and the NFL Network. May we suggest alcohol?

Here’s our NFL Draft in Philly drinking game (and please tweet us @billy_penn to yell at us for forgetting something funny/important):

Take one drink if there’s…

  • A shot of Pat’s and Geno’s
  • Camera pan of the Liberty Bell
  • Anyone mentions “Rocky” or ESPN/NFL Network shows the statue
  • Shot of Boathouse Row
  • Shot of the Linc
  • City of Brotherly Love reference
  • Camera pan over the Art Museum
  • City Hall shot
  • Eagles fans boo anything
  • Donovan McNabb sighting
  • If they play Streets of Philadelphia
  • If they play anything by Hall & Oates
  • Ben Franklin mention
  • Shot of Reading Terminal Market
Fans can walk through the Franklin Institute while teams are making draft picks. Credit: Dan Levy/Bill Penn

Take a chug if there’s…

  • A Schuylkill Banks Boardwalk shot
  • Elfreth’s Alley B-roll
  • Someone eating a pretzel
  • Snowball/Santa Claus reference
  • Will Smith reference
  • A “Dallas Sucks” sign sighting
  • Adonis Creed/Michael B. Jordan reference
  • Reference to the Penn Relays
  • Someone on either network makes fun of “hoagie”
  • College basketball coach reference, i.e. Jay Wright, John Chaney
  • Any mention of “jawn”
Schuylkill Banks Boardwalk Credit: M. Edlow for Visit Philadelphia

Finish your beer if there’s…

  • A Chip Kelly reference
  • Eagles fans boo their own first round pick
  • An M. Night Shyamalan appearance
  • ESPN or the NFL Network show a neighborhood spot outside Center City
  • A Trust the Process sign or Joel Embiid sighting
  • A mention that roast pork sandwiches are better than cheesesteaks
M. Night Shyamalan Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Buy a Citywide if…

  • Roger Goodell references “Rocky” in any form
  • Roger Goodell says “jawn”
  • It’s past midnight and we’re still watching Roger Goodell on our fucking TVs

Mark Dent is a reporter/curator at BillyPenn. He previously worked for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, where he covered the Jerry Sandusky scandal, Penn State football and the Penn State administration. His...